Favorite Dilbert Quotes

Here is a few of my favorite Dilbert quotes that I was saving in a text file while watching the two seasons of the TV show.

“I will not be pressured into having fun just because we arbitrarily use a base 10 counting system and a big round number is coming up” – on year 2000

“It seems to me that this whole charity concept is nothing but an exercise in redistribution of guilt”

“How did I end up with all this obsolete equipment, it seems to multiply”

Mom : “How did you get so distrustful”
Dilbert : “Well, I’m just guessing, but maybe it was because you lied to me about the toothfairy, then you lied to me about the easter bunny, then you lied to me about santa clause, then you lied to me about the stork brining babies”
Mom: “He knows about the stork”
Dogbert “My fault, I let him watch the nature channel and he put 2 and 2 together”
Dilber: “Now I don’t believe anything i’m told unless there’s proof”

“I’m addicted to email. My endorphins spike when I get a message. When there are no messages, loneliness and despair overcome me.”
“Have you tried sending email to yourself?”
“We don’t talk about that.”
- Dilbert and Dogbert

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.